Why First-Gen Students Struggle With Perfectionism and How to Cope

If you’re a first-generation college student, you’re not alone in feeling like you have to be perfect to belong. Many first-gen students struggle with perfectionism and academic pressure. Trying to do everything perfectly can lead to burnout, stress, and anxiety. These challenges don’t just affect your grades. They take a toll on your mental health too.

First-generation students are typically those whose parents did not complete a four-year college degree. Some students also identify as first-gen if their parents took a nontraditional path, such as attending community college, going to college later in life, or studying abroad. In this blog, we’ll cover the signs of perfectionism, coping strategies for first-gen students, and how therapy can help you navigate college with more confidence.

What Perfectionism Looks Like in First-Gen Students

Perfectionism in first-generation college students can show up in many ways, including:

• Extreme fear of failure, often imagining worst-case scenarios if they fall short on an assignment

• Over-preparing for tests or exams, spending excessive hours studying

• Harsh self-criticism, such as negative self-talk over a small mistake or an A-minus

• Irritability toward peers who seem to “have it easier” or “don’t have to work as hard”

Many of these behaviors can take a toll on both personal life and mental health. Spending so much energy trying to be perfect in school can lead students to withdraw from their social life, skip opportunities for growth outside the classroom, and avoid things like clubs, internships, or study abroad programs. Perfectionism can also impact physical and emotional well-being, contributing to lack of sleep, disrupted eating patterns, chronic stress and anxiety, imposter syndrome, low confidence, and a constant feeling of never being good enough, no matter how hard they try.

Why First-Gen Students Are Especially Vulnerable

First-generation college students face unique pressures that students with college-educated parents may not. Without someone at home who can guide them through academic expectations, campus systems, or the realities of college life, first-gen students often feel they must work twice as hard to succeed. This creates a perfect setup for perfectionism, stress, and burnout.

Family Expectations

Many first-gen students carry strong expectations from their families. They may be the first, or one of the first, to attend college. This can create pressure to make the most of the opportunity and do everything exceptionally well. Breaking new ground is exciting, but it can also feel overwhelming. When no one else in the family has had the same experience, the pressure to succeed can feel even heavier.

Lack of College Role Models

Navigating college without guidance makes students more vulnerable to perfectionism. First-gen students often enter college unsure how financial aid works, what professors expect, or how to manage a heavy workload while possibly working part-time. They don’t always have a trusted family member to ask about registering for classes, managing deadlines, paying fees, or building a study routine. Without reassurance, many feel they must figure everything out perfectly on their own.

Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is another common challenge for first-gen students. It involves feeling like you don’t belong, aren’t capable enough, or only got where you are by chance rather than through your abilities. First-generation students often experience this because they’re the first in their family to reach this level academically. This isn’t due to a lack of ability in their families but often due to systemic barriers, financial limitations, or fewer opportunities. These feelings of “not being enough” can intensify perfectionism, anxiety, and self-doubt.

Psychological Effects of Perfectionism

The psychological effects of perfectionism can vary, but they often build up over time. First-generation students who struggle with perfectionism commonly experience:

• Stress and burnout. Many first-gen students feel intense and constant stress, which can quickly lead to burnout and overwhelm.

• Procrastination. They may avoid starting projects because they feel unprepared, worry they don’t fully understand the material, or fear they won’t meet a professor’s expectations.

• Difficulty asking for help. They often hesitate to reach out to professors, staff, or other students because they don’t want anyone to know they’re struggling.

• Emotional exhaustion. Ongoing pressure can lead to anxiety, depression symptoms, and feeling mentally drained.

Many first-gen students who come to therapy for anxiety or stress often discover that perfectionism and fear of failure sit at the center of their struggles. With support, they can learn healthier ways to cope and rebuild confidence.

Coping Strategies for First-Gen Students

Coping strategies that help first-generation college students often focus on rethinking what success means and building routines that support mental health and self-care.

Reframe Success

Start by identifying the thoughts and beliefs you have about what success should look like in college or in your future career. Shift the mindset from “success equals perfection” to “success equals growth.” The goal of school is to learn, not to be flawless. When students reframe success this way, they often feel less pressure and more confidence in their progress.

Set Realistic Expectations

I often work with college students on recognizing the difference between ideal expectations and realistic ones. It helps to identify what outcome you would be happy with and what would simply be a bonus. It’s okay to have a spectrum of expectations. Understanding what is achievable and human can reduce stress and prevent burnout.

Develop Supportive Networks

Support matters, especially for first-gen students. Connecting with mentors, peers, professors, and campus resources can make a significant difference. Many campuses also have first-gen groups or programs with students facing similar challenges. Professors and staff may not know you’re struggling unless you tell them, but most genuinely want to support you.

Self-Care and Stress Management

Building a consistent self-care routine can help manage stress and promote better mental health. College life often pushes students to focus nonstop on academics, but your brain and body need breaks. Mindfulness exercises, movement or exercise, hobbies unrelated to your major, or creative activities like a crochet club can give your mind space to reset. Eating regular meals and getting enough sleep also play a major role in managing stress and supporting overall well-being.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy can be a powerful tool for managing perfectionism and the pressures many first-generation college students face. CBT and REBT can help you challenge perfectionistic thoughts and reduce negative self-talk. Therapy also gives you space to build self-care routines that actually work for you. And because therapists have been through college themselves, they can help you find campus resources and support systems you might not know about.

Ready to Overcome Perfectionism? Start Your Journey with Create Wellness Counseling

First-generation college students face unique challenges that they often try to manage through perfectionism. But perfectionism can take a real toll on mental and emotional health. The good news is that support is available. With telehealth, you can access virtual therapy from any college campus. If you’re in Michigan, schedule a consultation with Create Wellness Counseling to start learning practical tools to manage perfectionism, anxiety, and stress.